What a heart is beating for...

Are you like me and guard your heart in certain situations in the anticipation of the heartache that might follow?  I will admit, it is very difficult to not guard your heart when you are pregnant at forty one years old, with a blood disorder, and a very lengthy list of miscarriages in your past.  We are trained at a very young age, whether we realize it or not, to hope for the best, but sort of expect the worst when things crop up in life.  I love myself some Chris Rice, which is the man who sings the song I have with today's post.  I had not heard this song until today, and it hit me as I listened, that he was right...our heart is beating for more reasons than just to circulate blood to and through the body.  Now of course, I am not really talking about the physical heart in this instance, but a matter of the heart.  So, let's go into more detail, shall we?

Life is full of ups and downs, and often we get nervous when we are up because we all know what goes up must come down.  It's like the sayings, "waiting for the other shoe to drop," "don't get your hopes up," or "I wouldn't count your chickens before they hatch!" And if we have already found ourselves in the same situation in the past that did not turn out the way we would have liked, then it is very easy to be pessimistic. Dating is a good example of this!  After a long string of disappointments, we just expect the rest to be the same.  Problem is, this can also lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy and when that perfect person comes along...we don't give them the benefit of the doubt, thus killing a perfectly good opportunity at love.  Life is just plain hard, and I think I have said that a time or two before.  And I'm no stranger to heartache and heart break.  But something within me always propels me to move on, move forward, move past...

In the end, love though is what makes life worth living.  It is going to come with a few, well a bunch of breaks, but after all what's that saying, "a life without love is really no life at all."  We were meant to love, we were created to love, we crave it, we want it, we need it, and that is what our heart is beating for!  Whether its the love from God, a parent, spouse, significant other, child, friend, animal, other family member, or whoever...it fills that void, gives us purpose to wake up each day and a reason to open our eyes and get out of bed.  And at the end of the day, whether it was a good day or a not so good one, we still should have given a little love and got a little.  So I will pray for the best when it comes to this new baby, because no matter what happens, my heart will go on beating whether it ends up a hurricane or sweet gentle rain.  My love is mine to give away, and that is what I will choose to do no matter the outcome! Besides, I have others depending on it :) We have our first OBGYN appt tomorrow at 1:30 so I will keep everyone posted on how things are progressing. Hopefully this little guy or gal's heart is already beating for it's Momma!

Funny thoughts about having a baby at 41 :)

1. I am going to need a magnifying glass to cut it's tiny little nails!
2. I don't have to worry about forgetting all the nursery rhymes for my grand kids, I will still be singing them as a MOM!
3. Bill and I will look like Mr. and Mrs. Santa for this next baby!
4. Don't have to think about retirement, since we are never going to be able to anyway!
5. We will never know what the empty nest syndrome feels like!
6. Life will never be quiet, but we won't ever be lonely.
7. We will be watching cartoons when we go on social security.
8. I need to make sure and take care of my teeth, so my kid doesn't try to take my falsies to show and tell!
9. We will be able to go on vacations for years with our kids still eating for free at the Holiday Inn while we get the AARP discount!
10. We will always be forced to look, feel, and stay young...because we have no other choice!
11. And best of all, we will always have someone who can take us to all of our doctors appointments, and see to drive after dark!!! 

My new business card as a Writer :)