Are you still that girl or boy?

I don't know about you, but when I was a girl I thought I was going to change the world.  I wasn't sure how, or with what for that matter, but I was going to make a difference.  Then life has a way of sucking all of that positive energy and ambition right out of you like a powerful vacuum.  Things happen, life happens, bad things happen which we don't understand or deserve, and all of the sudden we just feel blah, and life takes the wind out of our sails.  When we are young and innocent life seems so exciting, and then we  become adults and we change :( Does it really have to be that way?

I have recently realized the answer is no, but it is merely a conscientious choice to still strive to not just be, but be all you can be; and what a different those two are in life.  It is easy to just be...live a life of complacency, a life of just going through the motions each day.  But what if, just what if we lived as an adult with the mentality we had as a kid to be so much more, to make a difference by not letting the hardship of life taint our spirit of tenacity?  After all, as the song above states, we are still that girl or boy deep down inside.  We just allowed life to steer us off track.  Instead of living a life of wishing, wanting, desiring more...why not do all you can to make your dreams and aspirations come true?  Will it take a little research, work, and persistence?  You bet ya it will! But won't it be worth it? You already know it!!! And keep in mind everyone's dreams and desires could be the same or completely different.  Don't impose your dreams onto someone else, and in turn they shouldn't try to change yours.  I believe we are all born for a distinct purpose, in a specific time and place, and we live life feeling unfulfilled because we simply settle.  Thus we feel incomplete, insignificant, and defeated while life marches on.  I don't know about you, but I want to have no regrets as I breathe my last breath.  I want to feel like I fulfilled my purpose, made my mark as I was destined to do, and well to be honest, wasn't lazy or too scared to try!  Does this mean I will succeed?  Not necessarily, but at least I will be able to say I tried.  And at that point, I will be able to smile and just move on knowing I didn't just settle :)

Love Must Believe You Are Worth It

We live in a society where we are constantly either measured by others and their standards, or we are measuring ourselves to standards which are unrealistic and often unattainable. We often find ourselves wishing we could be someone else, rather than just being content with who we are and how God made us.  In other words, we struggle with loving ourselves.  We are all guilty in some shape or fashion...whether it be physically, intellectually, emotionally, financially or any other attribute which we may be falling short in comparison to those we know personally or those we only see on the big screen or television.  WHY? Why do we sell ourselves short, and struggle with loving ourselves for who we are just as we are.  We all have shortcomings; and we all have faults...yes even those we want to be more like or wish we were.  We are all special in our own way, and loved by those around us...but most importantly by a loving Father in heaven.

But this drives me to my next thought, which might just come across once again controversial, but you know me and that's just how I roll.  I may not be right, but it is a possibility even if people don't want to admit it to themselves.  I wonder as we have just celebrated Easter, which embodies the death, burial, and most importantly the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, that those who choose not to believe in God or Jesus just can't fathom that someone could possibly love them that much to die for them? And I can admit, it is often very difficult for me to understand and comprehend.  I would die for my family, but total strangers...I don't know :/  Or is it the idea that there is something greater which we can't see, touch, smell or hear; and yet is beginning and end, has the ability to control everything we can and can't, or is it simply a lack of self worth?  I realize I may take some heat from this, but I just felt like I would throw it out there.  It's hard to believe God can still love the killer, love the rapist, love the druggie, love the abuser, love the thief, love the pedophile, or love the sinner like me.  We all are sinners, we all make mistakes...some of us a little or a lot bigger than others; but sin is sin in the eyes of God.  But yet He still thinks we are worth it! And how do I know?  I believe He allowed His Son, the Son of God, to be crucified for my sins, your sins, and every one's sins or wrongdoings from the beginning of time till the last person breathes their last breath! Now this is where the REAL love comes into play, so let me explain a little further.

You know how bad you feel when you do something you know you shouldn't have done...or lets say think of the worst thing, or top ten bad mistakes you have ever done wrong in your life which not only hurt you but those around you.  Now, I will go out on a limb and assume most of us haven't done much in the way of killing, abusing kids, or some of the other top sins when we categorize them, but many many people have over the course of the last however many thousands of years.  Now tally up as best you can all sins, big or small from EVERYONE who has ever lived so far...now add those who are yet to live with their sins big or small.  Now remember how you felt just reliving your worst sins and how you felt completely heartbroken and hurt, disappointed and completely consumed with self-loathing over your sin.  NOW think how it must have felt for Jesus to take on not just the pain of the physical death itself on a cross after all of the beatings, but to take on the emotional distraughtness of every ones sins from the beginning of time until the end of time!!! Basically incomprehensible to the human mind how that must have felt.  Now...THAT IS LOVE!  And He obviously thought you were worth it! He, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, felt your pain, your sorrow, your unworthiness, and took it on to pay your debt! There is no greater love which will ever be displayed, EVER!  Now go look in the mirror and tell yourself, you are worth it, you are loved, and just as you are.  Stop comparing yourself to others, love yourself...then Smile and just move on because you are worth loving...imperfections and all!

April Fools? Who are you fooling?

Today is April 1st, otherwise known as April fools day!  And after a bit of research on how April fools day began...there are way too differing stories and who knows which, if any, is correct.  I suppose I won't even try to do there today.  Besides I am way too preoccupied with trying to potty train my son! It can be said, I suppose that he played an April fools joke on me without even meaning to do so today.

Yesterday after waiting MONTHS to have him do a #2 on the potty, and after much bribing him with everything from toys, to money, to motorized vehicles...it finally happened.  Needless to say, my daughter, husband and myself acted like complete lunatics once the deed was complete...insane clapping, cheering and over the top positive reinforcement was our plan to keep him motivated to use the potty!!! And as I had promised, after I picked him up from preschool this morning, we proceeded to the Walmart to purchase the firetruck he had been eyeballing for a while.  This firetruck was all he had talked about for weeks now.  The firetruck was purchased, and all was going well today.  He even wore his big boy underpants to school, and after three hours had successfully kept them clean and dry.

We get home, and I run upstairs to make the beds and throw a load of laundry in the wash. As I walk down the hall, I notice the puppy seems to have left his mark on my carpet.  I then get the little green out to treat the pee pee spot on the carpet, put it away and walk downstairs where Luke is happily playing with his new firetruck...with a big old turd in his underpants!!! April fools on me, right?  I bought the firetruck to hold up my promise, and it wasn't even 1/2 hour old, and I was cleaning out his pants.  I wasn't sure if I should laugh, cry or throw up my hands in frustration.  But I suppose parenting can be that way can't it?  We turn our backs for two seconds and all can fall apart!  Of course, did what all frustrated parents would do...threaten to take the firetruck back because he pooped his pants.  Will it work?  Who knows, a girl can hope!  I don't think a day would be complete if I didn't deal with vomit, pee or poop from either my kids or animals.  One day when all is quiet in my house, you know when I'm a hundred and ten years old, and I will remember these days filled with bodily functions of all sorts.  These years are the best and yet the messy ones as well.  What else is there to do but smile and just move on...as they say "poop happens" :)