Struggling with Struggling :(

Please tell me I am not the only one who struggles with struggling? I know that sounds silly, but it's so true! The more I struggle, the more I stress about the fact that I'm struggling...thus creating a vicious circle of day in, day out internal conflict within myself.  I like to be the do all, be all, help all kind of gal, but often here lately I find myself wanting keep up or to do so much more, yet falling short in all categories.  I try to be content, I want to be content, I long to be content in all things...but yet I still struggle! I struggle with motivation, feelings of self doubt, and purpose; but this is where in the problem lies.  Is it the self doubt what causes the lack of motivation and thus lack of purpose? Could it be depression that causes lack of motivation and leads to self doubt and no purpose? I can admit, I don't have the answer :( But I can assure you, if you have these same struggles you are not alone.  I have headache issues which last for days and weeks on end which simply compound my struggles even further :(

What I have found to be true in my own life is I do well for a while, then either circumstances or often the great unknown causes me to fall into a funk.  I am not sure how else to put words to how I feel.  I know there are more people with WAY bigger problems than myself, and yet I still struggle.  Then I feel guilty for struggling, and it just slides down hill from there.  I have friends who are battling cancer, troubled teenagers, divorce, financial strife, the list goes on and on...which makes me feel even worse about my struggles over little of nothing in the grand scheme of things.  I can honestly say there isn't much I want or need beyond what I am already fortunate enough to already have.  I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home, a husband who is an amazing provider and allows me to be a stay at home Mom for our kids, and yet some days I just feel blah!  WHY??? Is it because I can? Am I putting too much emphasis on the what if of external things, instead of just enjoying this time of just being?  Is it possible I am so content I just don't recognize it as such? When do we draw the line of feeling a sense of accomplishment verses trying to be more and more?  Lots of questions to which I honestly don't have the answers to today.  How come I can't just crawl into bed satisfied with what I did today, instead of feeling the weight of what I didn't do?  I just hope I'm not alone on all of this...Could it be the pressures of society to do it, be it, live it all the time 24/7?

I am wondering if I should just try focusing on what positives I accomplished each day, as opposed to what I didn't do, and feed upon the good it might just turn my struggles into triumph?!  My crazy friend I love told me today she has been holding her own "Smile-a-thon" several times a day.  She read if you force yourself to smile, and I mean smile hard till your cheeks hurt for 2 minutes, it will cause your mood to switch by releasing endorphins leaving you in a more positive/happy state of mind.  She contends she ends up laughing at the end of it every single time.  Worth a try I suppose.  I told her I don't need to do the "smile-a-thon" thing because I get to talk to her and everyone in my family knows if I am on the phone and laughing out loud I am talking to her.  She is my laugh-a-thon, and for her I am grateful!!! I think she is giving the term "Smile and Just Move On" a new meaning with her "Smile-a-thon's"!!! Let's all give it a try, and instead of looking down at ourselves for what we didn't get done, just smile away at what we did get done today...stop the struggling because we are struggling!!!  oxox to y'all!!!